Forgiveness......

There is not one of us who has not been wronged or on the flip side wronged someone else and needed to give or receive forgiveness. We are all in need of the virtue of forgiveness from our Father in Heaven and also from those around us. It is a humbling process from either side.

I was reading in Matt 18 this week, which contains the parable of the unmerciful servant.  This parable reminds us how important it is to give the forgiveness to others that we are desperately seeking ourselves. Forgiveness is an important part of a faithful and strong marriage and family. In a 2011 Ensign article, Richard Miller a BYU professor, talked about how important forgiveness is in our families and marriages he taught,” In order for a marriage to be successful, there also needs to be forgiveness. Repentance and forgiveness are complementary gospel principles, and both are necessary in order for us to progress spiritually.

Resentment is one of the worst poisons in marriage. It doesn’t ruin a marriage overnight. Rather, it is like decay that gradually and silently damages your teeth. Forgetting to brush your teeth once doesn’t ruin your teeth; however, numerous instances of neglect over many years will. Similarly, resentment accumulates gradually, often without us even noticing it. If left untreated, it builds up over a number of years to the point where it destroys love.

Just as our sins and weaknesses are washed away through repentance, forgiveness washes away the hurts and emotional injuries that must be anticipated in being married to someone who is imperfect.

Forgiveness is the perfect antidote for the poison of resentment. It neutralizes our hurt feelings and makes room in our hearts for love to flourish and grow. President Boyd K. Packer of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles taught:

“All of us carry excess baggage around from time to time, but the wisest ones among us don’t carry it for very long. They get rid of it. … Often … the things we carry are petty, even stupid. … If you resent someone for something he has done—or failed to do—forget it. We call that forgiveness. It is powerful, spiritual medicine.”

These same principles apply within a marriage, and perhaps more so. The best response to being hurt is, as President Packer implied, to get over it. Marriage is too important for us to clutter our minds and hearts with resentment that is created by dwelling on the faults and weaknesses of our spouse. We need to forgive and move on.” (Ensign, September 2011)

How grateful I am for the Savior and His atonement that makes it possible to receive forgiveness for my sins and find the strength to seek and offer forgiveness to others.