I have learned a great deal about my marriage and myself as I have read both Goddard and Gottman’s Books. They each bring important ideas and tools for a successful marriage. Gottman covered the things that are more secular and Goddard those of a spiritual basis. I know that if I apply both of them consistently my marriage will continue to grow and become stronger. I don’t think it matters how long anyone has been married, there is always something to learn and approve on. For me, the most important thing I learned from Goodards book was in his last chapter that focused on charity. When we are seeking to have the pure love of Christ we are seeking to love someone to the point that we can overlook the imperfections and see them how Christ sees them. Can you imagine a world where we all tried to see one another as Christ does? A great place to start is on our homes with those that we love most and are hoping to spend eternity with. There were a few points in the chapter that stood out to me.
The quote by Marleen S. Williams where she states,” When you understand another person through the lens of his or here own life experiences and history, you will find it easier to interpret that person’s behavior accurately and to learn how to accommodate differences. (128)”
Or I like to see it as more of seeing past the differences that will not change, the perpetual problems that all of us experience with our spouses and even within other relationships.
Goddard also mentions in his action section a reminder that “we love Him because He loved us first. The same can apply to marriage. Our partners will love us because we first love them. Love first. Don’t wait to be loved. (131)”
No one likes to wait but I never applied the concept to the love between spouses and this is something that can be applied throughout our marriages. When there is always love being given first it makes it much harder to fall out of.
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