Turning in the right direction.....

I really loved the chapter our class focused on this week. It was all about turning toward your partner and not away.  As I read I thought about my husband and I's relationship and the little things we do that fall under this category. I did not even realize we were doing things that strengthen a marriage and draw us closer. We do quite a few things that are recommended on Gottman's list. Just the other day we were texting each other and seeing how each others day was going. Years ago a Bishop recommended to the priesthood that they hold hands with their wife when they pray as a couple, and we have been doing that since. The little things really are key here. The text, questions about one's day, running boring errands together, praying together and spending the mundane parts of our lives with one another. The list of possible ways to turn towards someone important to you is long yet simple. A text or act of service often takes just a moment. 
The section of reading that really stood out to me was when Gottman discusses "missing" a bid because it is wrapped up in anger or negative emotions. This is where I see an opportunity for me to improve not only in the relationship with my husband but also with my teenagers. For example, my gluten free daughter was angry yesterday claiming there was nothing for her to eat. My response referred to her pickiness. This was far from helpful. I missed that her anger was actually a bid for help to find something to eat because she was stressed and tired. How different that moment would have looked if I had offered to help her find something instead of my original response.
"...focus on the bid, not on the delivery." (92). I think these words of advice may just save me a confrontation or two or three.